Yes, Big Show eviscerated the “unbeaten” Funkasaurus last night, but since it wasn’t even an official match I didn’t get the satisfaction of him ending Brodus’ streak. Other than that, with all of Big Show tossing around the Tag Champs like, the most impressive thing was when Show stomped down on the announce table like tantrum-y ogre.
But that was it. That was the entire RAW. Big Show picking his opponent for the night. Yes, it was Memorial Day, so a lot of folks were out and about, hootin’ and hollerin’, and not watching the TV, so I knew going in that we weren’t going to get the greatest of shows. On the upside, we did get Punk vs. Bryan, one on one, buried six feet under on this uneventful holiday show. And it was a great match. Bryan getting a pin-fall win kind of erases my hopes that he’ll beat Punk for the belt, but I ain’t gonna complain too much. It’s the best feud going in the company right now, and the Kane/AJ factor actually makes it all more interesting. Will the match at No Way Out now be a three-way that includes Kane? Is AJ really into Punk or is it all part of a devious Daniel Bryan scheme? There are lots of moving parts here and I can only hope that the writers actually have a decent payoff planned for us. Of course, based on past results, I probably already know the answer to that…
Oh, and Punk-obsessed Cray-J is amazing. I need to get her as an iron-on patch or something. I have to be careful here since everyone knows that my House Sigil is Daffney clutching a battleaxe in one hand and non-flaming battleaxe in the other, but I think there’s probably room on some of my denim for an AJ decal.
Getting back to Jericho now…yeah. Um. So as most of you know, Jericho kicked the Brazilian flag during a house show down there in
Malariaville Brazil and almost got arrested. Because it’s a serious crime. That Jericho didn’t know about. So the WWE suspended him indefinitely. Which was abso-f***in’-ridiculous. So then the suspension was commuted to just 30 days. Which is still f***nomenally dumb. And everyone knows it. So then, if everyone knows it was a mistake, and none of the fans agree with it, why do it? The entire thing wouldn’t have been news at all if the WWE didn’t’ suspend him. No major outlets would have ran a story about a heel wrestler accidentally doing something that almost got him arrested in another country. The suspension made it into a story. So the WWE was trying to punish a guy for getting them bad press but…it didn’t become bad press until the WWE suspended him. God, it’s all just a bunch of squirrels s***ing in each other’s mouths.
Was the WWE on bad terms with Jericho because he was going to take time off in the Summer to tour with his Jem and the Holograms band? Were they using this as a way to dump him early? Was the WWE trying to pretend that they were some sort of legitimate sports organization that dealt with troublesome team members even though their team members are scripted to be troublesome? Whichever way this story falls, it looks like Jericho’s over it. As in “Outie Jeritron 5000” over it.
Also, in a tweet that’s now been deleted, Jericho semi-spoiled last night’s RAW with:
“From speaking to a few people at the show, I was told pretty much the entire episode tonight is scripted around Big Show, so if you are a fan of his, you are in luck.”
The best part about that tweet is that you can totally insert as much sarcasm into the line “so if you’re a fan of his” as you want. So it wasn’t really a spoiler per se as it was just a bored, bitter person giving us a heads up that last night’s show was going to be an epic snoozer.